her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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