He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
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found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
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Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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