Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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