Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you win again, gameday.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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