five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
