Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
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Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
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He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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