Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
