we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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