My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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