They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god