I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.