so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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