Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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