When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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