I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
