Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I FOUND THE LEGS
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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