I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
