I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
