who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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