Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
oh god was she eating orange peels again
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
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