Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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