Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
