Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize