Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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