That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
