Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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