he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
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Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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