a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
