Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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