You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize