and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
