South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
