her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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