apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
