We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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