A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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