D3 body, D1 cock
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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