If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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