Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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