I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
