clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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