is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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