the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
