I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
