Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c

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(503): View more from Oregon

I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.

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(678): View more from Georgia

He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail

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(705): View more from Ontario

Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform

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