from now on my penis is your penis
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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