there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
