I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
barbara walters just said penis...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
