are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
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i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
we're so committed to being not committed
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize