Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
