she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
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We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
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My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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