Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
