hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
