i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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