You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It's never too late to be topless.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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