i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think your dad took our porno
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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