I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
