out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
