Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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