belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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