As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
