so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
