Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
