Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
