fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
