Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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