A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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