I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
