Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize