Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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