If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
